You Never Get Over Your First Love – Too Bad Mine is Fictional

Currently Reading: Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

Full disclosure: I got this idea from an article someone posted on Facebook from a site called Hello Giggles. If you’d like to read that article, I’ve included the link below:

http://hellogiggles.com/literary-crushes-objectifying-the-men-of-books

In the Hello Giggles article, the author describes all the literary men she has crushes on, including such dashing figures as Mr. Darcy and Mr. Rochester as well as some slightly more unorthodox love interests like Wolverine from the X-men comic strips.

So this article got me thinking. I’ve long known that fictional men – both in literature and in film – have essentially ruined my chances at being satisfied with a real-life relationship. They are dreamy, intelligent and strong. Furthermore, they always know just what to say or do to make the heroine – and the reader – swoon in a way that no real person ever possibly could. 

But who, specifically, got the ball rolling and set the bar too high?

I started going over all my favorite romance stories in my head, trying to decide which ones I thought were the greatest; which men were the ones I wanted to leap off the page and carry me off into the sunset. Naturally, some of the men on the Hello Giggles list popped into my head. I mean, what woman isn’t in love with Mr. Darcy? And I’ve already explained how I want a man to love me the way Mr. Rochester loves Jane Eyre in my post about that book.

I thought of some more obscure love stories, like the one between Daine and Numair in the Tortall books Wildmage series (books by Tamora Pierce that are not widely known but are intensely loved by its followers). Their first kiss was a long awaited scene for me, as the two maintained a platonic relationship for the majority of the four-book series, and I remember repeatedly reading it as an adolescent.

As I went through all these men trying to piece together my own list of literary crushes, I realized that I loved them, but only with their heroine. Although I love Mr. Rochester for the way he loves Jane Eyre, he’s too rough around the edges for me. I’m elated every time Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy end up together, but I wouldn’t want to marry Mr. Darcy myself (I know. I may have to give up my second X-chromosome for that confession).

Over and over, I really looked at each of my literary dream men and came to the same conclusion. Out of all these handsome, brave, and romantic men, the only one with whom I couldn’t find a fault is the first one who popped into my head; practically the first romantic hero I ever encountered:

I am and always will be in love with Prince Charmont from Gail Carson Levine’s Ella Enchanted.

Yes, that is a children's/young adult book.

But I can't help it! I will always want a man like Prince Charmont, aka Char. He’s gentle and kind yet strong enough to fight trolls. He’s brave and diplomatic, considerate and even-tempered - all the perfect traits for the leader of a kingdom. However, what makes Char my one true literary love is that underneath all his properness, he’s still just a kid at heart. 

I desperately want a man who knows how to be an adult in the right situation, but will still use his buttons as a trail when we explore an abandoned castle; a man who will slide down a stair banister with me, catch me at the bottom and then cry, “Again!” I love Char for his eagerness to laugh and to make others laugh. 

I also love Char for writing letters. I’m sure it’s just another indication of my obsession with words, but I love that he takes the time to write, sharing his days, thoughts, and faults in detail, things I can barely get some guys to tell me, let alone commit to paper.

So no matter what else happens, I will never get over my first fictional love. I will always dream of receiving a letter that ends:

“Love (it is such a relief to pen the word!), love, love – Char” (pg. 182).